Unmentionables mentionables!

Bad things happen when Trixie, lingerie, and pineapples collide!

So Hot Lab Guy and I were walking around and decided to duck into a Victoria's Secret store to slather sunblock on his face (and for other reasons too...) Luckily, I shall also mention that it's sale season and I picked up a lavender VS Angels babydoll (no, it's not on the website, sorry). Which Hot Lab Guy liked. A lot. We also decided to pick up some pineapples too. The rest of this story is best told AIM-conversation style:

Trixie: we got back to his place and i decided to uh, surprise him by putting it on
Trixie: he was in the kitchen however
Trixie: so i had to walk to the kitchen
Trixie: and we didnt immediately make it to the bedroom
Trixie: where instead, we were trying to cut up pineapples
Trixie: (me, in lingerie, cutting up pineapples)
Trixie: and i didn't think anyone would come in
Trixie: but oops....yeah Sketchy Eastern European decided to walk in at that moment
Trixie: and the gloating was endless
Cavil: hahahahahahaha
Cavil: that is hillarious
Cavil: the image of pineapple cutting in a slip
Cavil: and then a kid walking in
Cavil: :P
Cavil: thats funny
Trixie: and i was trying to hide behind the fridge
Cavil: hahahaha!
Trixie: yes
Trixie: i am inept
Trixie: and i tried to beat him with a rolled up wall street journal

So yes, I really did try to hide behind the fridge and I did try to beat Sketchy Eastern European up with a rolled up Wall Street Journal (his, no less!). Neither of which worked. He finally retired to his room. Hot Lab Guy and I sat down.

Hot Lab Guy: So, how embarrassed were you?
Trixie: On a scale of 1 to 10, about 112.

Lesson of the day: Make sure no one is due to come home when surprising one's significant other in lingerie.

Help a sista out!

Lipsmacker over at a Lipstick Diaries found out her boyfriend was cheating on her. He's disappeared AND he has a criminal record! Help a sista out and donate some money to her Ex - Boyfriend Recovery Fund! Click here and click on the right sidebar to donate!

Time for some covert detective work!

Hi guys!



For those of you who have expressed concern over my last entry, don't worry, I am doing fine and hopefully am not pregnant. Thanks for caring!

Hot Lab Guy's fraternity brother's engagement party is Thursday. Another one of Hot Lab Guy's friends is coming to stay over for said party. Neither is the problem. The problem is, one of Hot Lab Guy's friends/fraternity brothers didn't keep his cakehole shut and told the Ex about me and him some time ago (really long time ago actually). That was the time the Ex called me a slut and said he hated me and wanted me out of his life( I have to admit, I was much more sane once he was gone). This guy is one of the candidates for being el snitcho (there are maybe 2 other contenders).

Expect some strange shit this weekend.

This is the one where Trixie is still alive and hopefully not pregnant!

So yesterday, I finally passed some sort of rite of passage.

I got Plan B.

I have absolutely no clue how I managed to go for 23 years without needing to take it. But erring on the side of caution, AND the fact that I have repeatedly flagellated friends for not taking EC sooner and/or accompanied them to get it in the first place, I decided that I should follow my own advice and ponied up the $50 and swallowed the two pills. I guess there's a first time for everything.

Strangely, I feel fine. I'm still alive, and I haven't puked, wanted to puke, had cramps, headaches, dizziness, or the desire to rip anyone's head off. However, I probably did cause an inordinate amount of panic and right now I am pretty sure Hot Lab Guy and and Sketchy Eastern European are about ready to rip MY head off. Not all good in the hood!

Today is Trixie is rubbish day!

Trixie is back from camping in bear country! Anyway, I definitely yelled at Hot Lab Guy many times for making me hike up a 45 degree incline for an hour while carrying 50 lbs of stuff on my back. Apparently, Trixie is an indoor pet and should not be taken outdoors overnight.

But seriously though, I have another problem - this might be TMI but I DO need the help! Hot Lab Guy and I decided to skip the condom for the first time ever (I'm on Ortho Evra. I just finished my period and went back on the patch for 2 days so far. Uh...will I get pregnant? I sure as hell hope not! Ahhhh (freaking out now!)

beary scary!

Two things:

Re: hi I am going to NJ in 2 weeks close to [town]
[Frenchy] to [Trixie]

please reply :)

On Thu, May 28, 2009 at 12:09 AM, [Frenchy] wrote:

         Hi Trixie
         Can I meet you?

Dude, he doesn't seem to get it. So should I just keep ignoring him, or tell him to shut the hell up? And yeah, I might still need a place to hide across the country soon.

Um, so Hot Lab Guy wants to go camping. If there's one thing you should know about the northeast, it's that yes, there are bears. Bears are scary, and can kill you. Camping means you will encounter bears. Despite my experience with the shotgun toting Ex, I totally want to bring one because bears are scary. How scared should I be?

off to see the wizard , the wonderful wizard of odd!

Life Begins at Conception and Ends At Assassination*

Dear George Tiller:

I am sorry that you are no longer with us, your service to women in this country was incredibly important, you did it even when faced with death threats and other attempts on your life. Some people in this country think that the "killing unborn babies" is wrong, but there isn't a problem with sending 4226 American soldiers and nearly 100,000 Iraqis to die( for nonexistent WMDs). Apparently, fetuses are sacred and should never be touched by anyone but American soldiers (and Iraqis) are dispensable. I don't agree with them and think you should be considered a true American Hero. Well, may you rest in peace, we will always remember you.

Love,

Trixie Firecracker.

And in slightly less depressing news...OMG ADRIANA LIMA IS PREGNANT! Accomplice called it a week before the news broke because she's clairvoyant like that. Hmm, Alessandra Ambrosio effect?




*This was a line from an old Newsweek cartoon about the murder of Barnett Slepian. Very fitting, isn't it?